siliqu

So, let me tell you a thing. It’s fully possible to give yourself second degree burns with a cup of tea.

Yes, you read that right. Yes, I’m speaking from experience. 1 spilled cup of tea cost me about 10 000¥.

Because I’m an idiot, why else!

Anyway, I’m leaving this little update short and I’ll elaborate on the entire thing and the previous night in full some other day. Maybe tomorrow, who knows ;)

I could rant about how annoying my day has been (and I still might if I don’t start feeling better about it later), but I was walking back home and I decided I’m going to make today’s thing of the day different.

That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s less gloomy or depressing, but whatever. This is something I need to put into words once and for all, because sometimes I just need to express how I feel. So, here goes: me on metaphysics and souls.

If I had to separate everyone in two categories according to the way they think, I’d choose the math-type vs. the literary type. I know not everyone agrees with this, and maybe being one type doesn’t make you incapable of the other, and so on, but just go with it: it’s not really possible to completely divide the world into two, anyway. There’s always too much grey along the edges.

But, using these simple parameters for a division, I consider myself more of a math-type of person, and I strongly identify with many of the preconceptions that come along with that distinction.

For example, I find religion close to laughable, and have, indeed, laughed at the idea of creationism. I believe in facts. Is Darwinism a theory? Yes, it is. But it’s a theory supported by facts, so I find it much more believable that we evolved from monkeys, than that the whole world was snapped into existence by an almighty god.

That being said – and An almost fell down laughing when she heard this – I believe in the existence of souls.

Logically, I understand that there is a scientific and biological reason for any and all emotions and feelings we have – hormones and chemicals and whatnot. I know and comprehend it, but I don’t believe that that’s that and the moment we die we cease to exist. I don’t believe that life ends with death. This, more than anything else, is my faith.

Also, I don’t believe in heaven and hell. Whatever lives we live, they are completely separate from what happens after. Furthermore, it’s ridiculous, from a purely physics perspective, for there to be a place that can contain an unending number of souls that only ever increases.

Also, there’s the fact that something can’t be born from nothing, and something can’t turn into nothing, which is the very basic law of the world we live in. Queue, The Lion King. There is a thing called the circle of life, just like there is a thing called the circle of energy (or something like that, I’m not that well versed in the terminology).

Everything around us comes from something else.

Which brings me to the next point.

I don’t, strictly speaking, believe in life after death – I believe in life after life. In other words, reincarnation.

But not in the exact sense. I don’t believe that you’re necessarily the same person after you get reincarnated. After all, you don’t always continue being the same person within one single lifetime! So many things change who you are as a person, of course a different upbringing would make you grow up different. But the base is the same. You are always capable of the same things. Like, if you put the same Sim in many different neighborhoods and play. The Sim might be the same, but the world around it isn’t, so their life isn’t, who they become isn’t.

That’s what I believe. An might laugh and find it hilarious since I’m so logical about most things, and then there’s this, but…

Some people find strength in believing in faith, in god. I find strength in believing there’s another life for me after this one. And then another and another. I find strength in believing that while I might not be the same, I’ll still be. And so will everyone else.

~~~siliqu

Today’s things, (I can actually list two, shockingly) are nowhere near as deep and/or painful as last time. Just something random to start with: I’ve been listening to a lot of Linkin Park these days and someway or another, I got thinking about Shingeki no Kyojin while I was, and given my OTP is Eren/Levi, well…

If I EVER consider some kind of band AU with the two of them, I can totally see them singing LP songs together *o* I mean, Eren would pull off all the angry screaming perfectly, and somehow, I can’t see Levi singing exactly, but rapping just MIGHT be feasible :P

Or something. It’s just another idea in the jar of “things I’ll never actually get to write”.

Huh. I think I’ll make a tag like that XD It’ll probably get a lot of entries XD

 

Second thing for the day: the light went out in my bedroom, and given I’m in a one room apartment, that means the light I usually use went out >.> I’m… not good with the dark, but that’s a different story for another day.

So the light went out, and ok, I’m usually fine with it, I’ve already changed the bulbs in my hall and bathroom before, no problem! But this is one of those annoying dome-like lamps and I have NO idea how to get the cover off o.o So I’m currently living on my desk lamp and a bunch of candles.

Does this count as a date with my computer, then? Hm <3

~~~siliqu

Yes, I’m thinking of doing one of those. I suck at continuity, so I don’t know for how long I’ll manage to keep it up, but it’s worth a try.

Because, there’s this state where you feel like there’s nothing to count down the days with. And, worse, that there’s nothing to remember the days by. Sure, there’s routine and there’s school (university, actually, I’m second year now. Wow. How did that happen?) and there’re classes, and I meet with my friend Mary on an unofficial weekly sleepover, but…

At the end of the week I look back, and I can’t remember anything concrete for most days. Nothing that was important enough to remember, and that’s just sad, isn’t it?

Do you ever get those times when you talk to a parent, or a friend on a weekly basis and they ask you about something interesting in your life and you can’t think of anything? That’s not for the lack of it, surely! There’s a million small things through the day, like when Ma made me laugh so hard this morning despite my headache, or the fact that I’ve started thinking about my grandma a lot again these days (I guess it’s natural – it’s going to be 6 months since she died in a week) and feeling sad about it. But they just pass with the moment, or the day, and you… forget them. You might find an article you like, you might eat something horrid or delicious, but in a month’s time you’ll remember you’ve done it, maybe, but not the day, not the exact circumstances.

So, I’m going to do this “thing of the day” thing, just so that I remember there’s something important every day. Just so that I don’t start losing track of what’s happening to me.

-----

Yes, so, first thing of the day. I gave a few things up there, and I guess they fit into this category as well, but here goes something interesting: I tried recording myself, and GOD do I hate the way my voice sounds!!! Isn’t it supposed to sound higher to others than it does to myself? I just listened to it and, omg, is that even a woman talking?

Given, I was reading a fanfic told from a male character’s perspective… Is it a good thing, in that case? Huh. If I think of it that way, I might actually decide to give this podficking thing a try. For now this little pitiful attempt is going where the last one is: forgotten on my hard drive until my computer dies for no one to ever know of it.

Although, seriously, if I sound this horrible in person, how do my friends stand listening to me all the time???

~~~siliqu